November 1, 2021
There are lots of great reasons to drink less. However ...
What you most want is to feel In control.
I don’t have a dramatic story of alcohol-induced crises and subsequent recovery. I drank a few beers every day, more on the weekends, and alcohol was pretty central to my life. I would have said that 'life is fine.'
However my preoccupation with craft beer kept me from noticing the mediocrity I was settling for in myself and my life. I was lucky enough to get a wake-up call which led me to change my relationship with alcohol.
What I know now is that waking up feeling fresh is far more valuable than that second beer. That a middle age body can be strong and flexible and do things it couldn't at age 25. That any and every day is too valuable to spend with a hangover. And that you have far more potential to live a fun, interesting, and satisfying life than you realize when that daily buzz is your central focus.
Here are few other facts about alcohol and life.
You don’t need to hit rock bottom before you take action.
You’re right to want to make a change - drinking less really is more fun. The sooner you start the better.
You’re not powerless, alcohol isn’t evil, and abstinence isn’t the only solution.
Your brain is the most powerful tool on the planet - you just need some training and practice in how to use it.
People may think you’re fine and don’t need to change. Or that you better quit altogether .
Their opinions are irrelevant. You know what you need, and you can do this.
Labels like ‘alcoholic’ and ‘drinking problem’ are worse than useless. They lead to all-or-nothing thinking that suggests that everything is fine until at some arbitrary point the ONLY solution is to declare oneself powerless, join AA, and commit to abstinence forever.
The fact is that plenty of people don’t need to quit, but they want to drink less. They just haven’t yet figured out how to do it, and they’re not even sure it’s possible. I'm here to tell you that reliable enjoyable moderation is absolutely an achievable goal when you’re armed with the right techniques and support.
More willpower is not the solution. The problem is excess desire. The solution is to identify and change the thinking that causes the desire, and to develop better skills at managing the emotions that drinking appears to relieve.
My Drinking Story
I loved beer. First budweiser, then craft beer, then my own award-winning homebrew.
It seemed like mostly fun and games, but I really wasn’t paying attention. I didn’t see how things - my marriage, social life, and career development - were stale, and drinking made it all seem tolerable.
A conversation one Monday afternoon woke me up. It led me to start exercising and losing weight, and I just didn’t want to be numbed out in the same way I'd been used to. I launched myself onto an exciting path of personal growth and I was drinking a lot less.
However it wasn’t until I trained to become a life coach that I really transformed my relationship with alcohol. Until then I mostly had used willpower and discipline to drink less, and it helped that I was more interested in my life. But alcohol was still pretty important to me, and in fact my new girlfriend (now my wife) worried about my drinking.
I used what I learned in my coach training to eliminate the excess desire that remained. I changed those old stories that were creating desire, and created a new identity around who I was in relation to drinking. Armed with this knowledge and a few powerful techniques, the habit completely lost its power over me.
It’s easy to drink less, and the rest of my life is so much more engaging and fun as a result.
More About Me
I grew up in the Virginia countryside where I developed a love for outdoor activities. At different times I was heavily into archery and rifle competition, hunting and fishing, and Class V whitewater kayaking. I was an avid homebrewer and made over 1000 gallons of delicious IPA. That's me on brew day in the picture. My latest obsession is triathlon, and fitness in general.
I earned a degree in mechanical engineering, and worked for 20 years for a manufacturing company as an operations engineer and then as an analyst and manager in IT.
I quit all that in 2007 to fulfill a dream to become a craftsman and entrepreneur, and I ran my own construction business for 10 years.
I have a wonderful daughter in her 20's. After having been divorced twice, I've figured out the relationship thing, largely because of what I learned in my coaching. I'm married again, and am currently living in Mozambique, in Africa, following Monique's career.
Now I’m a life coach for people who want to drink less.
I've had a lot of life experience, with failures and successes. I lived most of my life relying on my analytical smarts, and figuring things out on my own. I prioritized career and hobbies over my relationships, and was often a real pain-in-the- ass to my loved ones. Then I discovered coaching, and found new power and happiness in connecting with my emotional life.
This experience and well-roundedness is what enables me to understand the challenges you face and to help you solve them.
When you find a life coach who will meet you where you are,
- without judgement,
- with real life experience and excellent training, and
- who is a master of creating personal transformation in himself and in clients,
you should hire him.
You can reach out to me via the Contact button at the bottom of the page.
Want to get started tonight using my step three process to change your relationship with alcohol?