Four months into dating my now-wife Monique, we had a party with her friends and there were lots of drinking. I felt a little rough when I woke up so I took an Advil. I mean that’s what you do, right? Better living through chemistry and all that…
The Conversation
Monique said to me: “Looks like you drank too much last night.”
I replied: “No way, that was a lot of fun. Was there a problem with how I acted?”
She responded: “No, not at all, but if you need an Advil, maybe that’s a sign.”
First, I was flabbergasted and felt unfairly judged.
Then once I got over feeling offended, I was intrigued.
My attitude was that more drinking and more buzz equals better, as long as you keep your cool. And I had the belief that life is full of tradeoffs; you want to have fun, you gotta be willing to pay for it. I never really questioned whether all that fun was worth a hangover, especially since they made Advil.
A Different Perspective
The idea that a reasonable fun-loving person could use a different metric to decide what was an appropriate amount to drink was actually mind-blowing. It got me thinking about how much value I assigned to the fun, and how little value I assigned to the quality of the following day.
I acknowledged to myself that I didn't always do the best job of evaluating the tradeoff when I was in the flow of a big buzz and social scene.
So I decided right then to adopt that principle that my drinking should never compromise the following day. I've decided not to leave room for negotiation and calculation in the moment of drinking, where I'm evaluating whether the value of drink now exceeds the value of feeling fresh in the morning. I've just universally and admittedly arbitrarily decided that the priority is always going to be on the next morning.
Conclusion
This way thinking has become a little part of my identity. I'm just think of myself someone who never drinks enough to make himself want an advil the next day.
Big life changes can come about from seemingly small shifts in perspective like this. These shifts can happen instantly.
This is how coaching works. We all go through life with unexamined beliefs that feel obvious and true to us. I'm able to help you uncover these and see how they are causing the unwanted actions and results in your life.
There’s no judgment or critique involved. These aren't moral issues - it’s purely a matter of effectiveness, and learning how to get what you really want.
If you're wanting some different results for yourself, click that Contact button below and schedule a free call. I guarantee you'll go away from it with valuable new perspectives that will change your life.