Four months into dating my now-wife Monique, we had a party with her friends and there were lots of drinking.
I felt a little rough when I woke up so I took an Advil. I mean that’s what you do, right? Better living through chemistry and all that…
The Conversation That Got Me Intrigued
Monique said to me: “Looks like you drank too much last night.”
I replied: “No way, that was a lot of fun. Was there a problem with how I acted?”
She responded: “No, not at all, but if you need an Advil, maybe that’s a sign.”
First, I was flabbergasted and felt unfairly judged.
Then once I got over feeling offended, I was intrigued.
My attitude was that more drinking and more buzz equals better, as long as you keep your cool. And I had the belief that life is full of tradeoffs; you want to have fun, you gotta be willing to pay for it. I never really questioned whether all that fun was worth a hangover, especially since they made Advil.
The Appropriate Amount Of Drink
The idea that a reasonable fun-loving person could use a different metric to decide what was an appropriate amount to drink was actually mind-blowing. It got me thinking about how much value I assigned to the fun, and how little value I assigned to the quality of the following day.
I wondered “what if there didn’t have to be tradeoffs?”
What if you did things that only added value to life, instead of adding some in one area while taking it away in others?
The Drinking Principle I Adopted (And You Should Too)
So I decided right then to adopt that principle that my drinking should never compromise the following day. And while I haven’t achieved 100% success with this, the principle has served me well, in many areas of life.
Think about your decision process when faced with the option to have a drink or a fourth drink.
If your approach is anything like mine was, the question you should put to yourself is:
“Is the benefit of drinking worth the pain for me (feeling bad, weight gain, irritated wife) later?”
You might find yourself putting too much weight on the value of ‘now’ while devaluing the pain you’ll suffer ‘later’. You keep deciding for ‘now’ at your own expense.
But if instead, the question is:
“Does this drink right now add value to my life?”
There isn’t much room for that kind of bargaining. Things get really clear when you decide not to tolerate tradeoffs.
Big life changes can come about from seemingly small shifts in perspective like this. These shifts can happen instantly.
This is why coaching is so powerful. I help you see how your current perspectives are creating your current results. And then I offer alternate perspectives that you can try on for size.
There’s no judgment or critique involved. These aren’t moral issues – it’s purely a matter of effectiveness. I offer a free initial consult call, which you will walk away from with new valuable perspectives that will change your life.