Is Your Do-It-Yourself Work Ethic Keeping You Stuck?

Do You Have A “Do-It-Yourself” Work Ethic?

We men pride ourselves on being independent, on not needing help.

It shows up in the cliché about our unwillingness to ask for directions when we’re lost.

It shows up in our relationships with our buddies where we rarely talk about personal issues except maybe to complain and get some sympathy.

And it might be showing up in your efforts to change how you drink.

Believe me; I understand what’s going on.

For most of my life, I’ve been about the most dedicated DIY-er I know.  From the mundane to the exalted – firewood, yard work, car repairs, hobbies, career changes – I’ve done things mostly for myself without a lot of help.

The result of this is that I know how to do a ton of shit, and I’m pretty sure that if I don’t know how to – I can figure it out. That confidence makes me feel good.

The Most Damaging Effect Of DIY Work Ethic

However, as in all things, moderation is wonderful, and this extreme DIY ethic has had some drawbacks. The most damaging of these is the belief that:

“If I can’t or won’t do it for myself, it’s not worth having”.

It’s one thing to endure a dirty house or a crappy-looking yard because you won’t get help. But think about it also in the context of your relationship to alcohol.

“If I can’t or won’t do it for myself, it’s not worth having”.

Have you tried to make changes in how you drink and not getting lasting results?

Or maybe even avoiding trying, out of fear of what that would mean?

Are you letting the fact that you haven’t solved the problem yet, on your own, mean that you don’t deserve to have a life free of the hardship that drinking is bringing to you?


For sure, there is strength in independence. But there’s a whole other kind of strength in being willing to ask for help.

Where are you strong already?  And where could you level up?

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