Do you ever say to yourself "I just don't understand why I have such willpower in other areas of my life, but I can't seem to control my drinking the way I want to"?
I'm going to explain what's going on and explain how small changes in how you think about drinking can create big changes in how you drink. The concept I introduce here has absolutely changed my life, so set aside 3 minutes and dig in.
Right now your situation might be that you do this:
ACTION: Drink 5 drinks in a day (5 could be any number, it’s just an example.)
This action, when repeated over time, creates results for you in terms of how your body feels, your weight, health and fitness, the quality of your relationships, and your general satisfaction with life. Our Actions create our Results.
You want to drink a different number of drinks, because you hope that doing so will bring a different set of results.
This action of drinking, like all actions, is fueled by emotion. We like to think that our actions are directed by our thoughts, but that is only true when the thought creates an emotion that is aligned with and fuels the intended action.
You can visualize this as part of a chain like this:
THOUGHT -> FEELING -> ACTION
This chain is part of a framework I use in my coaching called The Model.
Here’s an example.
T: I want a beer because I love the taste of it.
A: Drink 5 drinks
Pretty obvious, right?
How about this one?
T: I should drink less.
A: Drink 5 drinks
This is less obvious. The thought ‘I should drink less’ would seem to direct an action of drinking less than 5 drinks. But clearly it doesn’t.
The reason it doesn’t is because that thought is creating a feeling like guilt, or shame, or rebelliousness. That feeling is what's is fueling the action of drinking, in opposition to the apparent and desired direction of the thought.
Maybe your desired action is to drink only 2 drinks per night. Instead of considering that as our action, let’s think of this as the action of NOT DRINKING after having had 2 drinks. (An inaction is also a type of action.)
Here's the model for this, with an additional element. You identify the Result that you want to achieve. Show the facts of the situation - the Circumstance - relevant to the result.
CIRCUMSTANCE: I’ve already had 2 drinks
A: NOT have any more drinks tonight.
The task is to identify the Thought and Feeling that would drive the action of NOT drinking more?
This is what happens in coaching - I help you find the thoughts and feelings that are currently driving your action of drinking.
- What are the pro-drinking thoughts that create desire?
- What are the thoughts that create negative emotion, that you then try to escape with alcohol?
Then I help you find the thoughts that will lead to NOT drinking. The ‘right’ thoughts vary from person to person, and that’s why my coaching program is 100% customized to each individual client.
I teach you how to believe these new thoughts, so that you can be consistent in creating your desired action.
The really incredible thing is that this Model works for everything in your life.
Want to quit yelling at your kids? Identify the feeling driving the action, and the thought causing the feeling, and then change the thought.
Want a new result, like a new job or better relationship? Identify the actions that will create it. You don’t have to specify all the actions, just the next one that would move you towards the result. Then you identify a thought and feeling that would fuel that action,and you’re on your way.
This Model is the most powerful tool for personal transformation that I have ever come across in my life.
To learn more about it, join me on a free consult call. Invest one hour and you’ll walk away with a new understanding of the models that are running in your life. Better yet, you'll see the new models that could bring you the results you want.